Self-Love…a lesson which is considered most important and most difficult one to achieve while you are on your spiritual & physical journey. You cannot move forward on your path without self-love. All your life you are trained to love outside you, to see things in front of you. You are never trained to look within or to even love within. No one tells you to love yourself. Most of you don’t even know what self-love is. Often you are in love with someone else hoping that the person will love you, giving away everything you have without giving that love to yourself.
In my personal experience the major lesson of my life is self-love. In my understanding self-love is all about how you treat yourself when being alone and also when in relationships, how you see yourself when dressed up, how much care and importance you give to yourself, how much you respect yourself, how much you love yourself on a daily basis, how much you take care of your body. And also, how much crap you are saying no to. All these aspects are very important for self-love.
Initially as a child I was also looking for love outside me. As I grew up I realised that I cannot find it outside, it is within me. That day a major shift happened, my whole focus turned inwards. And I started finding that love within me. In 2012, I realised that I have to learn this lesson of self-love. I was way too much giving in my relationships that the other person would just use me to serve their ends. At that time, I gave myself one month to heal me & to learn this lesson. Today I am so much in love with myself that I am my top priority. I found that- self-love is simple and easy once you are healed or at least making a choice in that direction. You go through so much in one lifetime that the soul forgets to love itself. You lose the energy of self-love when you are wounded & hurt. But it is possible to be in love with yourself first. That is the best feeling you can get.
Simple steps to love yourself:
- Choice: First of all, you have to choose to love yourself on a daily basis in everything you are doing.
- Stop Self Criticism: Stop criticising yourself or being judgemental about yourself.
- Focus on your body: Talk to your body, your body is very loving in nature & ready to seek your attention. Talk to it to find out where is the energy of self-love in your body and expand it.
- Talk to yourself: To find out what do you need to love yourself.
- Treat yourself nicely: Pamper yourself with nice clothes, food, travel, comforts. You deserve it!
- Breathe: Focus on your breathing when you hate yourself & when you love yourself.
- Forgiveness: The major vibration which doesn’t allow you to love yourself is anger either towards yourself or others. Do daily forgiveness. Forgive yourself. It is ok!
- Stop sabotaging yourself: You are much more worthy than you think. So, stop creating blocks for yourself. It is possible to live a life without any damage.
- Take help: If there are wounds from the past then don’t hesitate to take professional help. A healer or a therapist can guide you & heal your past.
- Talk about it: Talk about your feelings to others. If you are not ok with someone treating, you badly then raise a voice instead of holding it inside.
- Affirmations: Write down some good & positive things about yourself and put it in front of you so that you can read it, remind yourself to love yourself.
- Goals: Set the time frame in which you will resolve your hurts, anger, past issues and move forward to love yourself totally.
- Give yourself time: Spend time with yourself. The more time you give to you the more you get in touch with your inner self.
- Be committed: Commitment plays a major role in self-love. As you commit to the other person when in love similarly you commit to yourself totally.
- Be honest: You need to be honest in this love –hate relationship with yourself because there are days when you find it difficult to love yourself fully. Be honest & acknowledge that also.
- Focus on what makes you happy and not others happy. Live for yourself.
- Choose happiness over sadness or disturbance in your life.
- Find a coach: A professional life coach can help you to overcome this habit of not loving yourself and bringing you in a space of self-acknowledgement & love.